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More Than Beer-Bottle Diplomacy

It has now been a couple of weeks since President Obama convened what was infamously dubbed the "Beer Summit." You know the story by now. After Henry Louis Gates Jr.'s arrest and Obama's subsequent words about the Cambridge, Mass., police acting "stupidly," the lid was blown off of the already tense and awkward national conversation we were having about race, class, and justice in America. The controversy culminated with that somewhat anticlimactic scene of Gates, Sergeant Crowley, President Obama, and Vice President Biden (thrown in for good measure) chatting and drinking cold ones in the backyard of the White House.

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The air was cleared, but did the nation really gain any deeper insight into the various issues surrounding "Gates-gate"? Probably not. We all just became more entrenched in our preexisting opinions. Even Gates and Crowley said they would simply agree to disagree. By then, the whole saga had seemed to devolve into a reality-TV farce, with the snobbish professor, the tough cop, and the busybody president. But what were the ultimate lessons?

People wanted to make the Gates arrest and ensuing ruckus a parable about a lot of things -- the prevalence of racial profiling, Ivy League elitism, disrespect for law enforcement, racism, classism, black rage, white privilege. The episode may have had shades of all those things. But the truth is always more complicated and multi-layered than the pre-wrapped boxes in which we're inclined to deposit racial events.

So, what's the takeaway? In my role as editor of UrbanFaith.com, I asked several prominent Christian leaders to respond to the question: What is the real lesson of the Gates-Crowley-Obama drama? The panel of seven included William Pannell, Cheryl Sanders, Glenn Loury, Vashti Murphy McKenzie, Curtiss Paul DeYoung, Arturo Lucero, and Tali Hairston -- an accomplished group of scholars, clergy, and community activists. And what they shared was anything but predictable.

"The real message?" said Glenn Loury, the respected social critic and professor of economics at Brown University. "I think it's that the president must do a better job managing the 'race' issue. I recognize that this issue is pretty far down the list of things he has to worry about, and rightly so. But, as the principal public official now in the position of framing the national discourse on race-related matters, he has an awesome responsibility to get it right."

"Reconciliation requires more than beer-bottle diplomacy," added Cheryl Sanders, pastor of Third Street Church of God in Washington, D.C., and a professor at the Howard University divinity school. "There must be transparency and truth-telling with the intention of actually changing the way we relate to each other."

Tali Hairston, the director of the John Perkins Center of Reconciliation at Seattle Pacific University, observed: "What we clearly lack is strategic engagement and the intentional effort needed to truly address race in America. This leaves us with two basic options, which were regularly demonstrated in this situation. We either choose to ignore the issue of race, believing that if we do so racism will fix itself. Or, we wait until the next race-based conflict and react vociferously with insight and passion, hoping to change someone's mind or, at best, give them a piece of ours."

Arturo Lucero, president and founder of Multi Cultural Ministry based in Southern California, suggested that forgiveness and grace need to take a more central role in incidents like the Gates affair. "As long as people of all ethnicities perpetuate the injustices of the past and their grievances toward other ethnicities, the wound will never heal," he said.

But Curtiss Paul DeYoung, professor of reconciliation at Bethel University and author of books such as Living Faith, insisted that we not forget the honest and thoughtful application of justice to situations like this one. "Until our best minds and most committed healers focus on the deeper levels of bigotry and systemic injustice, and implement a process for transformation, we will continue to experience the symptoms of this entrenched reality."

William Pannell, the veteran Fuller Seminary scholar and author of such classic books as The Coming Race Wars?, spared neither Gates, Crowley, or Obama in his blistering assessment of the controversy. But he also called for understanding and practical solutions to the tensions between police and minority communities. "What we need is a series of regular backyard conversations between police and neighborhoods in an attempt to develop 'communities of discourse,' climates where trust can be developed," he said. "The most promising centers for such discourse could be local congregations, but better in someone's backyard. The barbecue tastes better there."

Listening to this array of wise but unsentimental voices, I'm convinced that there's hope -- if we're willing to tackle the race issue in America with honesty, compassion, and persistence. I encourage you to read the entire forum at UrbanFaith.com.

Racially charged events like the Gates incident will happen again. The question is, can America learn to approach them not as occasions for further division, but as opportunities for transformation?

Edward Gilbreath is editor of UrbanFaith.com, and the author of Reconciliation Blues: A Black Evangelical's Inside View of White Christianityhttp://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=sojo_blog-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0830833625. He blogs at Reconciliation Blog.

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by: ando

08-16-2009 @ 7:41pm

Thank you for kind and thoughtful reply. Unfortunately, I'm sometimes looking for ulterior motives on this blog site, so your response was a real blessing. So I will return the apology. The issue of race can be a complicated one -- our daughters were born in China and Ethiopia. Fortunately, there are a number of adoptees from both countries in our community, and the Ethiopian adoptive community is especially active.

The school I work at has a high poverty rate, and I continually see the brokenness of families that is connected to socio-economic class. I would hope that the dialogue on these issues would factor in both racism and responsibility when it comes to how so many children are not succeeding in our schools. It's hard to comprehend how some children can survive based on the microcosm of family issues that I had to deal with this past year. Too often on the Sojo blog, race becomes the card that gets laid out to trump all other cards. If we want a healthy dialogue, it seems that all cards need to be given equal weight. Thanks for reading.

by: nia4576

08-17-2009 @ 1:01am

I am a teacher as well, except I teach at a predominantly white affluent country day school, so we are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Race is often thrown out there without even a thought to some of the other cultural identifiers that permeate our society. Class is a HUGE one for us as well. In my opinion, I think it is the biggest. Race and class to intersect and I too am bothered by conversations that are so one sided. I am a frequent lurker to this site as I feel like the message here is the one that closely relates to my own personal belief set. I don't always agree with what I read, but am always willing to engage in ideas that may be in conflict with my own.

I would imagine that as we continue to sort through the issues that cause us to toss and turn at night, God will continue to reveal Himself as ruler of all things. That's the hope we have, amen? Be well and God Bless.

by: nia4576

08-15-2009 @ 3:56pm

Ando, and that's the problem. you missed the point. Have you ever engaged in a conversation with your pastor friend about race? You haven't felt the need to because of your kingdom building bond. but ask your friend, take the time to ask him. this "carry a chip on their shoulder" mentality is what keeps us divided. yes I have a bit of a chip on my shoulder because whiteness and my experience with it affects me daily...as a christian though, we should try to reach across the table...if one member in the body is affected then we all are...your comment proves you don't get it.

by: ando

08-15-2009 @ 5:08pm

"your comment proves you don't get it."

Yes, I've heard that type of comment here ad nauseum. Frankly, I'm tired of it and the associated patronizing on the part of those who think they do get it. i have alot more to say, but it just ain't worth it.

by: ando

08-15-2009 @ 5:27pm

PS- An African American member of our church council has asked me to help him lead the adult Sunday school. And an African American woman helps lead my two daughters' children's Sunday school. I talk with another African American woman regularly re: the work she is starting to do with victims of modern sex slavery here in the states. Perhaps we'll all discuss the race issue at some point, but right now it seems the focus for all of us is on discipleship and outreach to the lost and hurting. I guess that's our bad....

by: nia4576

08-15-2009 @ 5:40pm

I don't mean any disrespect. You know you better than I do and I apologize for the generalization. I re-read my comment and I can see how you would take it. I am an African American woman who attends a predominantly white church. I love the church and the people in it. My husband is white and our children are bi-racial. I have had to "defend" the relationship I have with my husband often. Mostly from my black friends, not my white ones. My husband and I avoided talking about race until I was pregnant with our first daughter. my friends (the black ones) assumed I would raise her to identify as a black woman...my white friends have not. I guess I am just sensitive to it all because it's personal for me...when my husband and I go out...the stares...we get some of that from our church family but not much. it's hard. i did not mean to offend you.

by: ando

08-16-2009 @ 7:41pm

Thank you for kind and thoughtful reply. Unfortunately, I'm sometimes looking for ulterior motives on this blog site, so your response was a real blessing. So I will return the apology. The issue of race can be a complicated one -- our daughters were born in China and Ethiopia. Fortunately, there are a number of adoptees from both countries in our community, and the Ethiopian adoptive community is especially active.

The school I work at has a high poverty rate, and I continually see the brokenness of families that is connected to socio-economic class. I would hope that the dialogue on these issues would factor in both racism and responsibility when it comes to how so many children are not succeeding in our schools. It's hard to comprehend how some children can survive based on the microcosm of family issues that I had to deal with this past year. Too often on the Sojo blog, race becomes the card that gets laid out to trump all other cards. If we want a healthy dialogue, it seems that all cards need to be given equal weight. Thanks for reading.

by: nia4576

08-17-2009 @ 1:01am

I am a teacher as well, except I teach at a predominantly white affluent country day school, so we are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Race is often thrown out there without even a thought to some of the other cultural identifiers that permeate our society. Class is a HUGE one for us as well. In my opinion, I think it is the biggest. Race and class to intersect and I too am bothered by conversations that are so one sided. I am a frequent lurker to this site as I feel like the message here is the one that closely relates to my own personal belief set. I don't always agree with what I read, but am always willing to engage in ideas that may be in conflict with my own.

I would imagine that as we continue to sort through the issues that cause us to toss and turn at night, God will continue to reveal Himself as ruler of all things. That's the hope we have, amen? Be well and God Bless.

by: nia4576

08-17-2009 @ 3:01am

I am a teacher as well, except I teach at a predominantly white affluent country day school, so we are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Race is often thrown out there without even a thought to some of the other cultural identifiers that permeate our society. Class is a HUGE one for us as well. In my opinion, I think it is the biggest. Race and class to intersect and I too am bothered by conversations that are so one sided. I am a frequent lurker to this site as I feel like the message here is the one that closely relates to my own personal belief set. I don't always agree with what I read, but am always willing to engage in ideas that may be in conflict with my own.

I would imagine that as we continue to sort through the issues that cause us to toss and turn at night, God will continue to reveal Himself as ruler of all things. That's the hope we have, amen? Be well and God Bless.

by: letjusticerolldown

08-13-2009 @ 5:02pm

"We all just became more entrenched in our preexisting opinions."

I think anyone could rightly look at any one month span of my life (or even two-year span) and conclude, "Man--this guy just becomes more entrenched in his preexisting opinions and habits everyday!"

I pray to God that at my funeral at least one or two people can honestly stand and testify to having seen the transforming work of a redeeming God in me. I pray one or two others can stand and say it was their pleasure to walk with me on that journey. I pray my daughters can stand and say this was a man marked by Christ's love.

From yesterday to today, we look so much the same. We look at each other and see the familar wrinkles, warts and scars. We snarl and smirk; cry and laugh. But maybe we could take hands on this path of a long obedience--and look at the One who seems so unclear and distant--the One appearing dimly in the glass. This long journey will pass--but a moment at the beginning of eternity. And the friend with whom we traveled will reflect the glory of the Potter.

Praise God--that such ones as me could be used as agents of the Divine to hold each other in a way so we need not conclude the other is one simply entrenched in their old state. We are crucified with Christ. But we live. It is not us--but Jesus in us.

by: ando

08-13-2009 @ 8:06pm

An African-American church meets right after our service on Sundays. Its pastor plays drums for our service. The other night we were holding a VBS at church and a group from the other church to came in for music rehearsal. Many of us know each other, especially the pastor, his wife and three kids. Their church is growing, as our other minority churches. We don't have to always "talk" about the issues, but we learn to love and respect each other. My wife and I had the pastor and his wife and one daughter -- at the time -- for dinner several years ago. It was a great experience and we did not talk about the race issue except for the fact that she is biracial and grew up in Duluth!

by: nia4576

08-17-2009 @ 3:01am

I am a teacher as well, except I teach at a predominantly white affluent country day school, so we are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Race is often thrown out there without even a thought to some of the other cultural identifiers that permeate our society. Class is a HUGE one for us as well. In my opinion, I think it is the biggest. Race and class to intersect and I too am bothered by conversations that are so one sided. I am a frequent lurker to this site as I feel like the message here is the one that closely relates to my own personal belief set. I don't always agree with what I read, but am always willing to engage in ideas that may be in conflict with my own.

I would imagine that as we continue to sort through the issues that cause us to toss and turn at night, God will continue to reveal Himself as ruler of all things. That's the hope we have, amen? Be well and God Bless.

by: letjusticerolldown

08-13-2009 @ 5:02pm

"We all just became more entrenched in our preexisting opinions."

I think anyone could rightly look at any one month span of my life (or even two-year span) and conclude, "Man--this guy just becomes more entrenched in his preexisting opinions and habits everyday!"

I pray to God that at my funeral at least one or two people can honestly stand and testify to having seen the transforming work of a redeeming God in me. I pray one or two others can stand and say it was their pleasure to walk with me on that journey. I pray my daughters can stand and say this was a man marked by Christ's love.

From yesterday to today, we look so much the same. We look at each other and see the familar wrinkles, warts and scars. We snarl and smirk; cry and laugh. But maybe we could take hands on this path of a long obedience--and look at the One who seems so unclear and distant--the One appearing dimly in the glass. This long journey will pass--but a moment at the beginning of eternity. And the friend with whom we traveled will reflect the glory of the Potter.

Praise God--that such ones as me could be used as agents of the Divine to hold each other in a way so we need not conclude the other is one simply entrenched in their old state. We are crucified with Christ. But we live. It is not us--but Jesus in us.

by: ando

08-13-2009 @ 8:06pm

An African-American church meets right after our service on Sundays. Its pastor plays drums for our service. The other night we were holding a VBS at church and a group from the other church to came in for music rehearsal. Many of us know each other, especially the pastor, his wife and three kids. Their church is growing, as our other minority churches. We don't have to always "talk" about the issues, but we learn to love and respect each other. My wife and I had the pastor and his wife and one daughter -- at the time -- for dinner several years ago. It was a great experience and we did not talk about the race issue except for the fact that she is biracial and grew up in Duluth!

by: BlueDeacon

08-14-2009 @ 2:43am

That will -- and must -- eventually change. One thing that I cannot forget is that 70 percent of white evangelical Christians voted for John McCain last November and many of those are on the anti-Obama warpath today; many of them probably feel that most blacks voted for Barack Obama just because he was black. (Which isn't true.) You see, we African-Americans don't have the luxury of "forgetting" about the race issue; it's thrown in our face regularly.

In an ideal world, there wouldn't be two different churches meeting in the same building. Wonder what could be done to have joint services on a regular -- and perhaps permanent -- basis.

by: ando

08-14-2009 @ 10:50am

Since you know so much more than I do about our churches, I can supply you with the pastors e-mails and you can enlighten them. At least the African American pastors I know don't carry a chip on their shoulders like seem people seem to..of course, they're into saving souls and bringing the Kingdom of God into play

by: BlueDeacon

08-14-2009 @ 2:43am

That will -- and must -- eventually change. One thing that I cannot forget is that 70 percent of white evangelical Christians voted for John McCain last November and many of those are on the anti-Obama warpath today; many of them probably feel that most blacks voted for Barack Obama just because he was black. (Which isn't true.) You see, we African-Americans don't have the luxury of "forgetting" about the race issue; it's thrown in our face regularly.

In an ideal world, there wouldn't be two different churches meeting in the same building. Wonder what could be done to have joint services on a regular -- and perhaps permanent -- basis.

by: ando

08-14-2009 @ 10:50am

Since you know so much more than I do about our churches, I can supply you with the pastors e-mails and you can enlighten them. At least the African American pastors I know don't carry a chip on their shoulders like seem people seem to..of course, they're into saving souls and bringing the Kingdom of God into play

by: nia4576

08-15-2009 @ 3:56pm

Ando, and that's the problem. you missed the point. Have you ever engaged in a conversation with your pastor friend about race? You haven't felt the need to because of your kingdom building bond. but ask your friend, take the time to ask him. this "carry a chip on their shoulder" mentality is what keeps us divided. yes I have a bit of a chip on my shoulder because whiteness and my experience with it affects me daily...as a christian though, we should try to reach across the table...if one member in the body is affected then we all are...your comment proves you don't get it.

by: ando

08-15-2009 @ 5:08pm

"your comment proves you don't get it."

Yes, I've heard that type of comment here ad nauseum. Frankly, I'm tired of it and the associated patronizing on the part of those who think they do get it. i have alot more to say, but it just ain't worth it.

by: ando

08-15-2009 @ 5:27pm

PS- An African American member of our church council has asked me to help him lead the adult Sunday school. And an African American woman helps lead my two daughters' children's Sunday school. I talk with another African American woman regularly re: the work she is starting to do with victims of modern sex slavery here in the states. Perhaps we'll all discuss the race issue at some point, but right now it seems the focus for all of us is on discipleship and outreach to the lost and hurting. I guess that's our bad....

by: nia4576

08-15-2009 @ 5:40pm

I don't mean any disrespect. You know you better than I do and I apologize for the generalization. I re-read my comment and I can see how you would take it. I am an African American woman who attends a predominantly white church. I love the church and the people in it. My husband is white and our children are bi-racial. I have had to "defend" the relationship I have with my husband often. Mostly from my black friends, not my white ones. My husband and I avoided talking about race until I was pregnant with our first daughter. my friends (the black ones) assumed I would raise her to identify as a black woman...my white friends have not. I guess I am just sensitive to it all because it's personal for me...when my husband and I go out...the stares...we get some of that from our church family but not much. it's hard. i did not mean to offend you.

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by: letjusticerolldown

08-13-2009 @ 5:02pm

"We all just became more entrenched in our preexisting opinions."

I think anyone could rightly look at any one month span of my life (or even two-year span) and conclude, "Man--this guy just becomes more entrenched in his preexisting opinions and habits everyday!"

I pray to God that at my funeral at least one or two people can honestly stand and testify to having seen the transforming work of a redeeming God in me. I pray one or two others can stand and say it was their pleasure to walk with me on that journey. I pray my daughters can stand and say this was a man marked by Christ's love.

From yesterday to today, we look so much the same. We look at each other and see the familar wrinkles, warts and scars. We snarl and smirk; cry and laugh. But maybe we could take hands on this path of a long obedience--and look at the One who seems so unclear and distant--the One appearing dimly in the glass. This long journey will pass--but a moment at the beginning of eternity. And the friend with whom we traveled will reflect the glory of the Potter.

Praise God--that such ones as me could be used as agents of the Divine to hold each other in a way so we need not conclude the other is one simply entrenched in their old state. We are crucified with Christ. But we live. It is not us--but Jesus in us.

by: letjusticerolldown

08-13-2009 @ 5:02pm

"We all just became more entrenched in our preexisting opinions."

I think anyone could rightly look at any one month span of my life (or even two-year span) and conclude, "Man--this guy just becomes more entrenched in his preexisting opinions and habits everyday!"

I pray to God that at my funeral at least one or two people can honestly stand and testify to having seen the transforming work of a redeeming God in me. I pray one or two others can stand and say it was their pleasure to walk with me on that journey. I pray my daughters can stand and say this was a man marked by Christ's love.

From yesterday to today, we look so much the same. We look at each other and see the familar wrinkles, warts and scars. We snarl and smirk; cry and laugh. But maybe we could take hands on this path of a long obedience--and look at the One who seems so unclear and distant--the One appearing dimly in the glass. This long journey will pass--but a moment at the beginning of eternity. And the friend with whom we traveled will reflect the glory of the Potter.

Praise God--that such ones as me could be used as agents of the Divine to hold each other in a way so we need not conclude the other is one simply entrenched in their old state. We are crucified with Christ. But we live. It is not us--but Jesus in us.

by: ando

08-13-2009 @ 8:06pm

An African-American church meets right after our service on Sundays. Its pastor plays drums for our service. The other night we were holding a VBS at church and a group from the other church to came in for music rehearsal. Many of us know each other, especially the pastor, his wife and three kids. Their church is growing, as our other minority churches. We don't have to always "talk" about the issues, but we learn to love and respect each other. My wife and I had the pastor and his wife and one daughter -- at the time -- for dinner several years ago. It was a great experience and we did not talk about the race issue except for the fact that she is biracial and grew up in Duluth!

by: ando

08-13-2009 @ 8:06pm

An African-American church meets right after our service on Sundays. Its pastor plays drums for our service. The other night we were holding a VBS at church and a group from the other church to came in for music rehearsal. Many of us know each other, especially the pastor, his wife and three kids. Their church is growing, as our other minority churches. We don't have to always "talk" about the issues, but we learn to love and respect each other. My wife and I had the pastor and his wife and one daughter -- at the time -- for dinner several years ago. It was a great experience and we did not talk about the race issue except for the fact that she is biracial and grew up in Duluth!

by: BlueDeacon

08-14-2009 @ 2:43am

That will -- and must -- eventually change. One thing that I cannot forget is that 70 percent of white evangelical Christians voted for John McCain last November and many of those are on the anti-Obama warpath today; many of them probably feel that most blacks voted for Barack Obama just because he was black. (Which isn't true.) You see, we African-Americans don't have the luxury of "forgetting" about the race issue; it's thrown in our face regularly.

In an ideal world, there wouldn't be two different churches meeting in the same building. Wonder what could be done to have joint services on a regular -- and perhaps permanent -- basis.

by: BlueDeacon

08-14-2009 @ 2:43am

That will -- and must -- eventually change. One thing that I cannot forget is that 70 percent of white evangelical Christians voted for John McCain last November and many of those are on the anti-Obama warpath today; many of them probably feel that most blacks voted for Barack Obama just because he was black. (Which isn't true.) You see, we African-Americans don't have the luxury of "forgetting" about the race issue; it's thrown in our face regularly.

In an ideal world, there wouldn't be two different churches meeting in the same building. Wonder what could be done to have joint services on a regular -- and perhaps permanent -- basis.

by: ando

08-14-2009 @ 10:50am

Since you know so much more than I do about our churches, I can supply you with the pastors e-mails and you can enlighten them. At least the African American pastors I know don't carry a chip on their shoulders like seem people seem to..of course, they're into saving souls and bringing the Kingdom of God into play

by: ando

08-14-2009 @ 10:50am

Since you know so much more than I do about our churches, I can supply you with the pastors e-mails and you can enlighten them. At least the African American pastors I know don't carry a chip on their shoulders like seem people seem to..of course, they're into saving souls and bringing the Kingdom of God into play

by: nia4576

08-15-2009 @ 3:56pm

Ando, and that's the problem. you missed the point. Have you ever engaged in a conversation with your pastor friend about race? You haven't felt the need to because of your kingdom building bond. but ask your friend, take the time to ask him. this "carry a chip on their shoulder" mentality is what keeps us divided. yes I have a bit of a chip on my shoulder because whiteness and my experience with it affects me daily...as a christian though, we should try to reach across the table...if one member in the body is affected then we all are...your comment proves you don't get it.

by: nia4576

08-15-2009 @ 3:56pm

Ando, and that's the problem. you missed the point. Have you ever engaged in a conversation with your pastor friend about race? You haven't felt the need to because of your kingdom building bond. but ask your friend, take the time to ask him. this "carry a chip on their shoulder" mentality is what keeps us divided. yes I have a bit of a chip on my shoulder because whiteness and my experience with it affects me daily...as a christian though, we should try to reach across the table...if one member in the body is affected then we all are...your comment proves you don't get it.

by: ando

08-15-2009 @ 5:08pm

"your comment proves you don't get it."

Yes, I've heard that type of comment here ad nauseum. Frankly, I'm tired of it and the associated patronizing on the part of those who think they do get it. i have alot more to say, but it just ain't worth it.

by: ando

08-15-2009 @ 5:08pm

"your comment proves you don't get it."

Yes, I've heard that type of comment here ad nauseum. Frankly, I'm tired of it and the associated patronizing on the part of those who think they do get it. i have alot more to say, but it just ain't worth it.

by: ando

08-15-2009 @ 5:27pm

PS- An African American member of our church council has asked me to help him lead the adult Sunday school. And an African American woman helps lead my two daughters' children's Sunday school. I talk with another African American woman regularly re: the work she is starting to do with victims of modern sex slavery here in the states. Perhaps we'll all discuss the race issue at some point, but right now it seems the focus for all of us is on discipleship and outreach to the lost and hurting. I guess that's our bad....

by: ando

08-15-2009 @ 5:27pm

PS- An African American member of our church council has asked me to help him lead the adult Sunday school. And an African American woman helps lead my two daughters' children's Sunday school. I talk with another African American woman regularly re: the work she is starting to do with victims of modern sex slavery here in the states. Perhaps we'll all discuss the race issue at some point, but right now it seems the focus for all of us is on discipleship and outreach to the lost and hurting. I guess that's our bad....

by: nia4576

08-15-2009 @ 5:40pm

I don't mean any disrespect. You know you better than I do and I apologize for the generalization. I re-read my comment and I can see how you would take it. I am an African American woman who attends a predominantly white church. I love the church and the people in it. My husband is white and our children are bi-racial. I have had to "defend" the relationship I have with my husband often. Mostly from my black friends, not my white ones. My husband and I avoided talking about race until I was pregnant with our first daughter. my friends (the black ones) assumed I would raise her to identify as a black woman...my white friends have not. I guess I am just sensitive to it all because it's personal for me...when my husband and I go out...the stares...we get some of that from our church family but not much. it's hard. i did not mean to offend you.

by: nia4576

08-15-2009 @ 5:40pm

I don't mean any disrespect. You know you better than I do and I apologize for the generalization. I re-read my comment and I can see how you would take it. I am an African American woman who attends a predominantly white church. I love the church and the people in it. My husband is white and our children are bi-racial. I have had to "defend" the relationship I have with my husband often. Mostly from my black friends, not my white ones. My husband and I avoided talking about race until I was pregnant with our first daughter. my friends (the black ones) assumed I would raise her to identify as a black woman...my white friends have not. I guess I am just sensitive to it all because it's personal for me...when my husband and I go out...the stares...we get some of that from our church family but not much. it's hard. i did not mean to offend you.

by: ando

08-16-2009 @ 7:41pm

Thank you for kind and thoughtful reply. Unfortunately, I'm sometimes looking for ulterior motives on this blog site, so your response was a real blessing. So I will return the apology. The issue of race can be a complicated one -- our daughters were born in China and Ethiopia. Fortunately, there are a number of adoptees from both countries in our community, and the Ethiopian adoptive community is especially active.

The school I work at has a high poverty rate, and I continually see the brokenness of families that is connected to socio-economic class. I would hope that the dialogue on these issues would factor in both racism and responsibility when it comes to how so many children are not succeeding in our schools. It's hard to comprehend how some children can survive based on the microcosm of family issues that I had to deal with this past year. Too often on the Sojo blog, race becomes the card that gets laid out to trump all other cards. If we want a healthy dialogue, it seems that all cards need to be given equal weight. Thanks for reading.

by: ando

08-16-2009 @ 7:41pm

Thank you for kind and thoughtful reply. Unfortunately, I'm sometimes looking for ulterior motives on this blog site, so your response was a real blessing. So I will return the apology. The issue of race can be a complicated one -- our daughters were born in China and Ethiopia. Fortunately, there are a number of adoptees from both countries in our community, and the Ethiopian adoptive community is especially active.

The school I work at has a high poverty rate, and I continually see the brokenness of families that is connected to socio-economic class. I would hope that the dialogue on these issues would factor in both racism and responsibility when it comes to how so many children are not succeeding in our schools. It's hard to comprehend how some children can survive based on the microcosm of family issues that I had to deal with this past year. Too often on the Sojo blog, race becomes the card that gets laid out to trump all other cards. If we want a healthy dialogue, it seems that all cards need to be given equal weight. Thanks for reading.

by: nia4576

08-17-2009 @ 1:01am

I am a teacher as well, except I teach at a predominantly white affluent country day school, so we are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Race is often thrown out there without even a thought to some of the other cultural identifiers that permeate our society. Class is a HUGE one for us as well. In my opinion, I think it is the biggest. Race and class to intersect and I too am bothered by conversations that are so one sided. I am a frequent lurker to this site as I feel like the message here is the one that closely relates to my own personal belief set. I don't always agree with what I read, but am always willing to engage in ideas that may be in conflict with my own.

I would imagine that as we continue to sort through the issues that cause us to toss and turn at night, God will continue to reveal Himself as ruler of all things. That's the hope we have, amen? Be well and God Bless.

by: nia4576

08-17-2009 @ 1:01am

I am a teacher as well, except I teach at a predominantly white affluent country day school, so we are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Race is often thrown out there without even a thought to some of the other cultural identifiers that permeate our society. Class is a HUGE one for us as well. In my opinion, I think it is the biggest. Race and class to intersect and I too am bothered by conversations that are so one sided. I am a frequent lurker to this site as I feel like the message here is the one that closely relates to my own personal belief set. I don't always agree with what I read, but am always willing to engage in ideas that may be in conflict with my own.

I would imagine that as we continue to sort through the issues that cause us to toss and turn at night, God will continue to reveal Himself as ruler of all things. That's the hope we have, amen? Be well and God Bless.

by: nia4576

08-17-2009 @ 3:01am

I am a teacher as well, except I teach at a predominantly white affluent country day school, so we are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Race is often thrown out there without even a thought to some of the other cultural identifiers that permeate our society. Class is a HUGE one for us as well. In my opinion, I think it is the biggest. Race and class to intersect and I too am bothered by conversations that are so one sided. I am a frequent lurker to this site as I feel like the message here is the one that closely relates to my own personal belief set. I don't always agree with what I read, but am always willing to engage in ideas that may be in conflict with my own.

I would imagine that as we continue to sort through the issues that cause us to toss and turn at night, God will continue to reveal Himself as ruler of all things. That's the hope we have, amen? Be well and God Bless.

by: nia4576

08-17-2009 @ 3:01am

I am a teacher as well, except I teach at a predominantly white affluent country day school, so we are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Race is often thrown out there without even a thought to some of the other cultural identifiers that permeate our society. Class is a HUGE one for us as well. In my opinion, I think it is the biggest. Race and class to intersect and I too am bothered by conversations that are so one sided. I am a frequent lurker to this site as I feel like the message here is the one that closely relates to my own personal belief set. I don't always agree with what I read, but am always willing to engage in ideas that may be in conflict with my own.

I would imagine that as we continue to sort through the issues that cause us to toss and turn at night, God will continue to reveal Himself as ruler of all things. That's the hope we have, amen? Be well and God Bless.