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Is Christianity a Straitjacket?

Would you be interested in getting to know someone if all you knew about her was what she didn't do?

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Christians don't lie, cheat, steal, and gossip about their neighbors. Christians don't smoke, drink, use illicit drugs, cuss, play cards, dance, watch R-rated movies, read horoscopes, or cross their fingers. Christians don't have premarital sex, but they do have sex only to have babies and not because they actually enjoy having sex. Christians don't talk about sex unless we can spell out the word and whisper it. Christians don't like homosexuality but say we would love homosexuals if we actually knew any. Christians don't believe in a woman's right to an abortion because if everyone just stopped having premarital sex it wouldn't be an issue. Christians are suspicious of, if not against, the public school system, science teachers and curriculum, and sex education in schools. Christians love the Right because they are right.

Sounds like a fun girlfriend, no?

It's oversimplified and doesn't take into context how complex religion's relationship to culture is. And it's not a completely fair assessment, but like I tell my kids, life is not fair. If we Christians are honest with ourselves -- and as a Christian, I am trying to be honest with myself -- the oversimplified descriptions are not completely undeserved.

We Christians have a PR problem. For most of my Christian life I have done a fantabulous job of communicating what I am against and somehow forgotten that even as I believe in a perfect God I am not close to perfect. I'm much better at telling another Christian about what I believe than I am at sharing about my faith with someone outside of my faith. I have often forgotten how to live out the love, forgiveness, grace, and mercy God poured out on me. Dare I say we have forgotten?

A group of us at church are reading and discussing Tim Keller's book, The Reason for God. Sunday morning's discussion was on Chapter 3: Christianity is a Straitjacket, and the discussion could have gone on much longer, I suspect. I sat there thinking not only of the friends and family who see Christianity as a straitjacket, but also of those who have been hurt, not by a church building, but by those of us who claim our usual Sunday seats inside the building each week. Because when we say we know people who have been hurt by "The Church," that really means us Christians, not the building, or some "Church" out there (I'm waving my hand out over there).

I thought to myself, no, Christianity isn't a straitjacket, but maybe we should redirect our conversation away from those who aren't Christians; we should make that claim to those of us who are Christians and make sure we are not wearing one. Perhaps we've already spent enough time telling people what we are against instead of living out what we believe and know to be absolutely true. Maybe? Even a teeny, weeny bit?

Am I kind and compassionate, or am I more often than not judgmental? Yes. Do I live and love freely, or is my love cheap and stingy and picky? Yes. Do I want God's grace and forgiveness for myself, and do I forget to extend that to others? Yes.

I have some work to do. Yes.

portrait-kathy-khangKathy Khang is a regional director of multi-ethnic ministries for Intervarsity Christian Fellowship and blogs at morethanservingtea.wordpress.com

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07-29-2011 @ 10:12pm

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07-21-2011 @ 5:50pm

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05-15-2011 @ 11:27pm

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by: Triune

02-23-2010 @ 6:36pm

A reminder we need more often than we think. Bonhoeffer wrote in his Life Together some great words to remember, "we must allow ourselves to be interrupted by God. God will be constantly crossing our paths and canceling our plans.... send us people with claims and petitions. It is a strange fact that Christians and even ministries frequently consider their work so important and urgent that they allow nothing to disturb them. They think they are doing God a service in this, but actually are disdaining God's crooked yet straight path."

by: pcnot4me

02-23-2010 @ 7:57pm

Keller's book is fantastic.

by: Will McCorkle

02-23-2010 @ 8:56pm

Kathy,

Thank you for the post. Growing up in the Christian community as well, I often felt like my life consisted of your first paragraph. Being against everything leaves us frustrated, wanting, and depressed. Living for something gives us hope, faith, and the chance to actually make a change in the world.

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06-26-2011 @ 4:01pm

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by: Bruce Gibeau

02-24-2010 @ 3:12pm

That "right" group is so inclusive that it excludes every type person Jesus hung around and spent time with. The wretched. In my walk I need to identify with those. Until I get to third place I don't really see well. Getting dirty is very cleansing.

by: Joe_Allen_Doty

02-25-2010 @ 1:15am

This reminds me of the high school girl who was asked what her church believed by another girl.

The 1st girl gave a long list of what the church didn't believe in doing.

The 2nd girl said, "I already knew that; but, do you believe?"

by: Joe_Allen_Doty

02-24-2010 @ 11:15pm

This reminds me of the high school girl who was asked what her church believed by another girl.

The 1st girl gave a long list of what the church didn't believe in doing.

The 2nd girl said, "I already knew that; but, do you believe?"

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07-19-2011 @ 8:03am

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07-04-2011 @ 12:06pm

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07-25-2011 @ 9:46am

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by: Triune

02-23-2010 @ 6:36pm

A reminder we need more often than we think. Bonhoeffer wrote in his Life Together some great words to remember, "we must allow ourselves to be interrupted by God. God will be constantly crossing our paths and canceling our plans.... send us people with claims and petitions. It is a strange fact that Christians and even ministries frequently consider their work so important and urgent that they allow nothing to disturb them. They think they are doing God a service in this, but actually are disdaining God's crooked yet straight path."

by: There

07-30-2011 @ 2:10pm

Began...

[

by: pcnot4me

02-23-2010 @ 7:57pm

Keller's book is fantastic.

by: Will McCorkle

02-23-2010 @ 8:56pm

Kathy,

Thank you for the post. Growing up in the Christian community as well, I often felt like my life consisted of your first paragraph. Being against everything leaves us frustrated, wanting, and depressed. Living for something gives us hope, faith, and the chance to actually make a change in the world.

by: uberVU - social comments

02-24-2010 @ 2:54am

Social comments and analytics for this post...

This post was mentioned on Twitter by sojourners: Is Christianity a Straitjacket? http://su.pr/2Gb7ox...

by: Bruce Gibeau

02-24-2010 @ 3:12pm

That "right" group is so inclusive that it excludes every type person Jesus hung around and spent time with. The wretched. In my walk I need to identify with those. Until I get to third place I don't really see well. Getting dirty is very cleansing.

by: Joe_Allen_Doty

02-24-2010 @ 11:15pm

This reminds me of the high school girl who was asked what her church believed by another girl.

The 1st girl gave a long list of what the church didn't believe in doing.

The 2nd girl said, "I already knew that; but, do you believe?"

by: bielizna damska

07-19-2011 @ 10:34am

bielizna...

I was curious if you ever thought of changing the page layout of your website? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot o...

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08-16-2011 @ 12:14am

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by: sunless tanner

07-18-2011 @ 6:00pm

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by: Joe_Allen_Doty

02-25-2010 @ 1:15am

This reminds me of the high school girl who was asked what her church believed by another girl.

The 1st girl gave a long list of what the church didn't believe in doing.

The 2nd girl said, "I already knew that; but, do you believe?"

by: Sok Noni

07-24-2011 @ 2:20pm

Sok Noni...

Hey, I think your website might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your blog site in Firefox, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that,...

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07-29-2011 @ 7:23pm

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by: Triune

02-23-2010 @ 6:36pm

A reminder we need more often than we think. Bonhoeffer wrote in his Life Together some great words to remember, "we must allow ourselves to be interrupted by God. God will be constantly crossing our paths and canceling our plans.... send us people with claims and petitions. It is a strange fact that Christians and even ministries frequently consider their work so important and urgent that they allow nothing to disturb them. They think they are doing God a service in this, but actually are disdaining God's crooked yet straight path."

by: Triune

02-23-2010 @ 6:36pm

A reminder we need more often than we think. Bonhoeffer wrote in his Life Together some great words to remember, "we must allow ourselves to be interrupted by God. God will be constantly crossing our paths and canceling our plans.... send us people with claims and petitions. It is a strange fact that Christians and even ministries frequently consider their work so important and urgent that they allow nothing to disturb them. They think they are doing God a service in this, but actually are disdaining God's crooked yet straight path."

by: pcnot4me

02-23-2010 @ 7:57pm

Keller's book is fantastic.

by: pcnot4me

02-23-2010 @ 7:57pm

Keller's book is fantastic.

by: Will McCorkle

02-23-2010 @ 8:56pm

Kathy,

Thank you for the post. Growing up in the Christian community as well, I often felt like my life consisted of your first paragraph. Being against everything leaves us frustrated, wanting, and depressed. Living for something gives us hope, faith, and the chance to actually make a change in the world.

by: Will McCorkle

02-23-2010 @ 8:56pm

Kathy,

Thank you for the post. Growing up in the Christian community as well, I often felt like my life consisted of your first paragraph. Being against everything leaves us frustrated, wanting, and depressed. Living for something gives us hope, faith, and the chance to actually make a change in the world.

by: uberVU - social comments

02-24-2010 @ 2:54am

Social comments and analytics for this post...

This post was mentioned on Twitter by sojourners: Is Christianity a Straitjacket? http://su.pr/2Gb7ox...

by: Bruce Gibeau

02-24-2010 @ 3:12pm

That "right" group is so inclusive that it excludes every type person Jesus hung around and spent time with. The wretched. In my walk I need to identify with those. Until I get to third place I don't really see well. Getting dirty is very cleansing.

by: Bruce Gibeau

02-24-2010 @ 3:12pm

That "right" group is so inclusive that it excludes every type person Jesus hung around and spent time with. The wretched. In my walk I need to identify with those. Until I get to third place I don't really see well. Getting dirty is very cleansing.

by: Joe_Allen_Doty

02-24-2010 @ 11:15pm

This reminds me of the high school girl who was asked what her church believed by another girl.

The 1st girl gave a long list of what the church didn't believe in doing.

The 2nd girl said, "I already knew that; but, do you believe?"

by: Joe_Allen_Doty

02-24-2010 @ 11:15pm

This reminds me of the high school girl who was asked what her church believed by another girl.

The 1st girl gave a long list of what the church didn't believe in doing.

The 2nd girl said, "I already knew that; but, do you believe?"

by: Joe_Allen_Doty

02-25-2010 @ 1:15am

This reminds me of the high school girl who was asked what her church believed by another girl.

The 1st girl gave a long list of what the church didn't believe in doing.

The 2nd girl said, "I already knew that; but, do you believe?"

by: Joe_Allen_Doty

02-25-2010 @ 1:15am

This reminds me of the high school girl who was asked what her church believed by another girl.

The 1st girl gave a long list of what the church didn't believe in doing.

The 2nd girl said, "I already knew that; but, do you believe?"

by: Taylor Lautner Workout

05-15-2011 @ 11:27pm

Taylor Lautner Workout...

Also you might wanna' check out this blog I found here......

by: Flash Factory

06-14-2011 @ 9:58pm

Flash Website Builder Tells You This Is A Fantastic Article Congratulations?...

Top story; thought I want to backlink on it!!! whoa did you hear the latest on Tokyo has now got more troubles too ......

by: Police Car Auctions

06-26-2011 @ 4:01pm

Police Car Auctions...

Hello, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your blog in Chrome, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, superb...

by: registry cleaners

07-04-2011 @ 12:06pm

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This design is steller! You most certainly know how to keep a reader amused. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost...HaHa!) Excellent job. I really loved what you had to say, and more than that, how you...

by: sunless tanner

07-18-2011 @ 6:00pm

I just linked to your site...

Im inexperienced to websites and recently found out about trackbacks, which I guess is a means for me to recognize your website through a linkback through my site. I ran across your website in the "currently buzzing" segment of one of the bookmarkin...

by: nissan uk

07-19-2011 @ 8:03am

nissan juke release date...

Awesome post, I've linked back to your blog here http://www.vwsuv.net/sites-we-like/ return the favor if you can, thanks!...

by: bielizna damska

07-19-2011 @ 10:34am

bielizna...

I was curious if you ever thought of changing the page layout of your website? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot o...

by: kosmetyki naturalne

07-21-2011 @ 5:50pm

kosmetyki naturalne...

Howdy! Quick question that's completely off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My site looks weird when browsing from my apple iphone. I'm trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to fix this issue. If you have any r...

by: Sok Noni

07-24-2011 @ 2:20pm

Sok Noni...

Hey, I think your website might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your blog site in Firefox, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that,...

by: Police Auctions

07-25-2011 @ 9:46am

Police Car Auctions...

This design is steller! You obviously know how to keep a reader entertained. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost...HaHa!) Fantastic job. I really enjoyed what you had to say, and more than that, how y...

by: Well

07-29-2011 @ 7:23pm

Ally...

[

by: Butler Auto Auction

07-29-2011 @ 10:12pm

Butler Auto Auction...

I was wondering if you ever considered changing the layout of your website? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of t...

by: There

07-30-2011 @ 2:10pm

Began...

[

by: Frank

08-15-2011 @ 8:32am

New...

[

by: Jezyk Angielski Dabrowa G

08-16-2011 @ 12:14am

kursy angielskiego dabrowa górnicza...

Hello, I think your site might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your blog in Chrome, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, excell...

by: Fat Belly

08-16-2011 @ 2:02pm

Lose Belly Fat...

Howdy! Quick question that's totally off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My weblog looks weird when browsing from my iphone. I'm trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to resolve this issue. If you have any reco...