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Real Life on Food Stamps

I am a single mom living alone with my 3-year-old little boy in southwest Florida. I have worked most of my life and never thought I would be using food stamps to feed myself and family, but due to the events of the last two years, I am the holder of an EBT card (food stamps). To make a long story short, I was blessed to have my son, but his father turned to alcohol and drugs and I found myself standing in front of the home I owned for 17 years, holding an 11 month old baby, with utility bills, a mortgage, medical expenses, car expenses and more, alone. I had no job or babysitter, since my son's father had wanted me to stay home to raise our son. I took a deep breath, called some friends, found a loving caregiver who was like a second mom to my son, found a job, but was drowning in debt. A third of my paycheck went to pay for daycare, and the rest was spent on the house and car expenses, not to mention formula and diapers. Our church and family rallied together to try to help, but I applied for food stamps in the state of Illinois.

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After dragging my little boy to a rundown office in a seedy neighborhood and waiting in endless lines, we were awarded the food stamps. I was employed by Cub foods (a now defunct grocery store chain) so I was very aware of the rules and restrictions of the food stamp program. I sat through many customer service seminars as the pricing coordinator and customer service manager. We were told to treat every customer with respect no matter how they were paying for their purchases.

Since then, I have moved to Florida to escape a domestic violence situation with the father of my son and now receive food stamps here. It is embarrassing to use the EBT card but I want to feed my son and help him grow to a healthy adult.

Food stamps are to be used for food items only. Even though laundry detergent, diapers, toiletries and cleaning supplies are needed, they cannot be purchased with food stamps. Certain prepared foods, like rotisserie chickens, and deli sandwiches are not food stamp able. The idea behind the food stamps is to encourage recipients to prepare meals at home. I am currently a returning college student and am enrolled full time to get an education and become self sufficient again. I am very aware of nutrition and try to choose items that are healthy and fresh. I do use coupons with my stamps to stretch my benefits to get through each month. I try to purchase produce and healthy items as much as possible.

During this time of lent, I get a lot of cheese and tuna, but meats and fresh fruits and vegetable are expensive. Some people have a stereotype of food stamp recipients as lazy, and are taking advantage of taxpayers. I am not lazy and worked almost my entire life and am not looking for a handout. I am very embarrassed to have to use them. Occasionally, I purchase Diet Coke for myself or ice cream for a treat for my son. A woman behind me in line a few weeks ago noticed I was using the EBT card and rolled her eyes and said "I am a taxpayer and it angers me that you can buy stuff on my dime." I was humiliated. She pointed out the "goodies" and told me I should be getting macaroni and cheese dinners and need to find a job.

Another trip to the grocery store caused me to turn red and want to crawl under the shopping cart. I had picked out some organic cereal bars for my son, who occasionally is a picky eater, and wanted them for him to eat on his way to daycare. The product was not tagged in the store's computer as being food stamp able, so I could not purchase them with the card. This product was supposed to be a food item but the cashier wanted cash from me for them. I asked to talk to the manager and he told me that he couldn't sell them to me for payment with the EBT card, and of course there were four people in line behind me. The store was in error but to avoid the stares from the other customers, I asked the cashier to take them off my bill, since I did not have enough cash to pay for them.

I hope that people think before they draw conclusions when seeing someone using food stamps. I do not want a handout, but need to use them to climb out of the situation I am in. You lose a bit of your dignity each time someone gives you a look for using them. I am grateful for the assistance my son and I get, but pray that people know that not everyone using food stamps is a cheat or bum that doesn't want to work or pay for their groceries.

Jennifer Wheeler is a full-time student and mother living in southwest Florida.

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by: Ngchen

02-26-2010 @ 6:54pm

Where are the child-support payments that are owed?

And yes, it definitely is tough to live off of food stamps. Hopefully things will become better is a few years.

by: KathyG

02-26-2010 @ 7:11pm

Jennifer this was a good blog post. I have been on food stamps for years now and I have recieved a few of those looks like you have. When I first applied for food stamps was when they still looked like money, sort of, and were more noticeable. At the time my brother worked at a local chain grocery store and he told me not to use them to buy expensive stuff like steak as he saw people who used them buy expensive stuff like steak and I told him I wouldn't. He eventually got used to me using food stamps especially after my son was born. Unfortunately this attitude has carried on for decades and it's sad that in this day and age some people still frown on people who are poor and only trying to feed their family or families. As one person stated above no body really chooses to be poor, the poor are there because of circumstances that they really can't control.

by: merbert

03-05-2010 @ 1:46am

If she had to leave the state to get out of a domestic abuse situation, then it most likely was very serious. You don't know what the father did to her or what happened to her. Saving the marriage is all fine and good until her son's father kills her and her son is left with no mother. He chose drugs and alcohol over the marriage and the word of Christ, and the only things she had control over were her life and the life of her son. Too many people take marriage too lightly and divorce for frivolous and selfish reasons, but I have a hard time thinking that people should stay in such a situation if it becomes dangerous and the safety of children is at stake.

Thank you Jennifer for sharing your story. I know enough people on food stamps already. There are not enough decent jobs out there to house, clothe, and feed a family anymore, it seems.

by: MrDandTT

03-07-2010 @ 4:11pm

Jenny is among my most favorite people! Her son was a total delight to love and care for while Jenny worked to provide for herself and her family. I can testify to the fact that she is not mean, evil, or poor. She is rich with with friends who love and care for her. But, I can also attest to the fact that her son's father is abusive in so many way; I can attest to the run-ins with the police for abuse. Though we love both of them, we helped her to pack and move to Florida. We have provided occasional gifts so that she and her son can enjoy some luxuries, you know the things most Americans call essentials, like clothes, Diet Coke or Chocolate ice cream.

I hate welfare as it is practiced these days. It was supposed to help people get back on their feet after events such as Jenny has gone through. I detest 3rd and 4th generation welfare recipients; well, actually not them, but the government that permits this to occur. But, more than all this, it makes me want to vomit when I read/hear of people so heartless that they can make such clueless statements such as the lady in the checkout line or the Pharisee found in comments such as "LeonMoyer"; Heartless and ignorant of reality of other people's lives and the condition of their soul.

Jenny, our offer still stands for you and your little guy to move back to Illinois and live with us in our finished basement. The economy is only slightly better here than there. But, people coming together is tough times is precisely what Christ taught and what we try to live. We can actually help each other...Come back here!

by: JoelleHart

03-05-2010 @ 3:00am

Christ said, "But whoso shall cause one of these little ones who believe in Me to fall, it were better for him that a millstone were hung about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea." (Matthew 18:6)

And the Bible also says, "Husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies... For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it" (Ephesians 5:28-29)

This man did not love his body; he poisoned it with drugs and alcohol. He was teaching his child to sin by exposing him to alcohol and drugs, abuse and violence.

Jennifer rescued the child from that situation. She nourishes and cherishes that child, and protected him by leaving that man. Her actions showed love and humility.

And even if you want to make the claim that divorce is wrong no matter what... did Jesus say to the woman caught in adultery, "Hey, I'm going to get crucified, so quit whining... a little stoning would do you good."

I am frankly horrified at your hate-filled comment.

Jennifer -- thank you for having the courage and taking the time to share your story.

by: LeonMoyer

03-04-2010 @ 11:14pm

No, we don't pay enough in taxes to cover much withdrawal from the gov't: i.e., after about three years on social security, a person has received about what they paid in to SS during their entire life. No doubt the same applies to food stamps. No one addressed the underlying problem with Jennifer. If she was following the teaching of Jesus, that what God has joined together man shall not put asunder, and that marriage lasts for life, good or bad, then she would be working to save both the marriage as well as her husband's soul, whom she should love forever and work to lead him to live a Christian life. She might not have to live in the same building with him but she should not be running to distant corners of the land to avoid him--even if there is domestic abuse, she can suffer as Jesus suffered, right? Or are women more sacred than God's Son, who had no place to lay his head at night? Yet this woman wants us to pay for her food while she sits in a classroom, ever learning but not reaching the Truth.

by: ingreif

02-26-2010 @ 10:30pm

well your right in ways. I am not its bad to be on food stamps. but to many abuse it. and to be reminded that others are paying this isnt bad in of its self. people can be rude i am sure. I hated being on it for that reason at times. But the shame did help me work harder to get off it. Its the whole part of making it TO comfortable to STAY o it thats the problem. they have no insentive to work when they can get along with it. I no a lot of people who wont get off it becasue they have to struggle a bit before there work pays off with a better situation. I think most people on food stamps are nbot like this person or you or me. thats the problem. In am for one considered POOR by our governments standard. actuall real close to below poverty. BUT i am not on food stamps. I admit I am under medicaid becasue I have 5 kids but that is it. and If I ever have the chance to get off it I will guickly becasue its not all that good. And I think its a waste of money for the government. Its important to make sure the incentives to be productive do not in themselves make one lazy or to just get by becasue to many are happy with that.

by: MrDandTT

03-07-2010 @ 2:11pm

Jenny is among my most favorite people! Her son was a total delight to love and care for while Jenny worked to provide for herself and her family. I can testify to the fact that she is not mean, evil, or poor. She is rich with with friends who love and care for her. But, I can also attest to the fact that her son's father is abusive in so many way; I can attest to the run-ins with the police for abuse. Though we love both of them, we helped her to pack and move to Florida. We have provided occasional gifts so that she and her son can enjoy some luxuries, you know the things most Americans call essentials, like clothes, Diet Coke or Chocolate ice cream.

I hate welfare as it is practiced these days. It was supposed to help people get back on their feet after events such as Jenny has gone through. I detest 3rd and 4th generation welfare recipients; well, actually not them, but the government that permits this to occur. But, more than all this, it makes me want to vomit when I read/hear of people so heartless that they can make such clueless statements such as the lady in the checkout line or the Pharisee found in comments such as "LeonMoyer"; Heartless and ignorant of reality of other people's lives and the condition of their soul.

Jenny, our offer still stands for you and your little guy to move back to Illinois and live with us in our finished basement. The economy is only slightly better here than there. But, people coming together is tough times is precisely what Christ taught and what we try to live. We can actually help each other...Come back here!

by: jenfs

02-27-2010 @ 8:32am

Thank you for this blog-post, Jennifer. Thank you for being willing to share your real-life experience. This helps us all to remember that real, live, hard-working people can find themselves in circumstances they'd rather not be in. And compassion goes a lot further than condemnation. Being understanding is more difficult but don't we also want people to be understanding (not condemnatory) of us whenever we find ourselves in difficult circumstances?

We live in a rural, poor part of Missouri where we know many hard-working people who are on food-stamps or the WIC program (similar but geared exclusively towards women and children). My own father was on food stamps for a long while because his mental illness prevented him from working enough to support himself at that time. One thing I have noticed is that it is also this poor, hard-working group of people who do not have any health insurance. The ones we know personally also age a lot faster through hard, manual labor, factory work and lack of proper health care. It is a very sad thing to see in a (Christian) nation as rich as the US.

Jennifer, Are able to afford health insurance or regular health care for you and your son? Or are you one of the 40+million who are uninsured (or under-insured)?

Thank you again for this post. I pray that God will continue to bless and take care of you and your son through this difficult time in your life. Our prayers are with you.

by: liberalinlove

03-04-2010 @ 7:37pm

Hey, I'm sure if you've worked you've paid in for this benefit. And if you are ever planning to work, you will again pay in for this benefit. In some respects your taxes are like an insurance to hedge against times like this.

by: ingreif

02-26-2010 @ 3:36pm

I know how this feels i was on food staps a while back before the card so it was rather obviouse you were on food stamps. Its good to get the critisism kif you ask me It encourages you to work towards being off of it. Like ben franklin said. It is best to make the poor uncomfortable with being poor, that way they might try to work hard enough to NOT be poor. (not perfect qoute)

by: Patricia

02-28-2010 @ 10:21pm

Yes, it's always so helpful when ignorant people who know nothing of your situation feel called upon to put you down and take you to task in public. Especially since the majority of adults who receive food stamps are WORKING, and the vast majority of PEOPLE receiving food stamps are CHILDREN.

by: Elizabeth Palmberg

02-26-2010 @ 4:41pm

Jennifer, thanks for sharing your story! I'm glad you are taking the hard steps that are needed to raise your son in a safe and healthy environment.

by: histrogeek

02-26-2010 @ 5:42pm

Three points in rebuttal.
First being poor is not, in itself, a moral issue; therefore, making sure people work hard to stop being poor isn't an issue. If the issue is making sure people are productive, then positive incentives are far better than some seemingly uncharitable scold crabbing out about where her tax dollars are spent.
Second isn't the point of our economy that it provides incentives for people to be productive? Making more money, and all the good things that follow from that, ought to be more than enough to encourage people to stopping being poor. And I have yet to meet a single person who preferred being grindingly poor to working for money. And I've taught in very poor urban schools.
Third and lastly, Jennifer is clearly not looking to stay poor, but is doing everything to get out of poverty. Problem is, it takes time but her need is immediate. So what business is it of someone in the checkout line to tell her, or anyone else, how to live their life especially when they have no idea how or why she is in this position?

As a brief aside, when I smoked, nothing was more likely to get me to light up than self-appointed public health expert telling me it was bad for me except maybe passive aggressive coughing (not genuine coughs which are easy to distinguish from the former). Similarly when my annoying hippie aunt scolds me when I drink a Coke, it angers me more than anything else. Certainly doesn't convince me to change my ways.

by: squeaky

02-26-2010 @ 6:35pm

Good points--thanks.

And, um...sorry about the passive aggressive coughing. That, uh. That was me. Actually, more often I'll just hold my breath walking by the smokers outside the building. Most don't realize I do it...

by: pilgrimboy

02-26-2010 @ 6:36pm

Thanks for sharing that Jennifer. And I am sorry for the way some people treat you. May God bless you and your son.

by: Ngchen

02-26-2010 @ 6:54pm

Where are the child-support payments that are owed?

And yes, it definitely is tough to live off of food stamps. Hopefully things will become better is a few years.

by: KathyG

02-26-2010 @ 7:11pm

Jennifer this was a good blog post. I have been on food stamps for years now and I have recieved a few of those looks like you have. When I first applied for food stamps was when they still looked like money, sort of, and were more noticeable. At the time my brother worked at a local chain grocery store and he told me not to use them to buy expensive stuff like steak as he saw people who used them buy expensive stuff like steak and I told him I wouldn't. He eventually got used to me using food stamps especially after my son was born. Unfortunately this attitude has carried on for decades and it's sad that in this day and age some people still frown on people who are poor and only trying to feed their family or families. As one person stated above no body really chooses to be poor, the poor are there because of circumstances that they really can't control.

by: Android Tablets

06-14-2011 @ 5:50pm

by: liberalinlove

03-05-2010 @ 7:44pm

Okay I accidentally clicked I liked this post. No absolutely and unequivocally, I do not agree with this post. This is exactly why the church lost its voice, and I believe why we had a birth of feminism. Yes there are those who divorce for selfish reasons, but you absolutely cannot believe God sent his son to hang on a cross so that woman could live and suffer silently in abuse.

Even within a marriage, women often have to support themselves, financially, physically, mentally, morally and spiritually. And for those, who in past decades sought help from the church, an answer like yours was all they could expect.

Would God love marriage to work the way it is supposed to? Yes I'm sure of it. Would following God's plan for mankind cure a lot of societies ills. 1000 percent yes. We live in a fallen world bud and until the church steps up and offers real help to people who need it without judgement, we'll have people who need food stamps.

by: merbert

03-05-2010 @ 1:46am

If she had to leave the state to get out of a domestic abuse situation, then it most likely was very serious. You don't know what the father did to her or what happened to her. Saving the marriage is all fine and good until her son's father kills her and her son is left with no mother. He chose drugs and alcohol over the marriage and the word of Christ, and the only things she had control over were her life and the life of her son. Too many people take marriage too lightly and divorce for frivolous and selfish reasons, but I have a hard time thinking that people should stay in such a situation if it becomes dangerous and the safety of children is at stake.

Thank you Jennifer for sharing your story. I know enough people on food stamps already. There are not enough decent jobs out there to house, clothe, and feed a family anymore, it seems.

by: ingreif

02-26-2010 @ 10:30pm

well your right in ways. I am not its bad to be on food stamps. but to many abuse it. and to be reminded that others are paying this isnt bad in of its self. people can be rude i am sure. I hated being on it for that reason at times. But the shame did help me work harder to get off it. Its the whole part of making it TO comfortable to STAY o it thats the problem. they have no insentive to work when they can get along with it. I no a lot of people who wont get off it becasue they have to struggle a bit before there work pays off with a better situation. I think most people on food stamps are nbot like this person or you or me. thats the problem. In am for one considered POOR by our governments standard. actuall real close to below poverty. BUT i am not on food stamps. I admit I am under medicaid becasue I have 5 kids but that is it. and If I ever have the chance to get off it I will guickly becasue its not all that good. And I think its a waste of money for the government. Its important to make sure the incentives to be productive do not in themselves make one lazy or to just get by becasue to many are happy with that.

by: Android Tablets

06-14-2011 @ 5:50pm

by: MrDandTT

03-07-2010 @ 4:11pm

Jenny is among my most favorite people! Her son was a total delight to love and care for while Jenny worked to provide for herself and her family. I can testify to the fact that she is not mean, evil, or poor. She is rich with with friends who love and care for her. But, I can also attest to the fact that her son's father is abusive in so many way; I can attest to the run-ins with the police for abuse. Though we love both of them, we helped her to pack and move to Florida. We have provided occasional gifts so that she and her son can enjoy some luxuries, you know the things most Americans call essentials, like clothes, Diet Coke or Chocolate ice cream.

I hate welfare as it is practiced these days. It was supposed to help people get back on their feet after events such as Jenny has gone through. I detest 3rd and 4th generation welfare recipients; well, actually not them, but the government that permits this to occur. But, more than all this, it makes me want to vomit when I read/hear of people so heartless that they can make such clueless statements such as the lady in the checkout line or the Pharisee found in comments such as "LeonMoyer"; Heartless and ignorant of reality of other people's lives and the condition of their soul.

Jenny, our offer still stands for you and your little guy to move back to Illinois and live with us in our finished basement. The economy is only slightly better here than there. But, people coming together is tough times is precisely what Christ taught and what we try to live. We can actually help each other...Come back here!

by: MrDandTT

03-07-2010 @ 2:11pm

Jenny is among my most favorite people! Her son was a total delight to love and care for while Jenny worked to provide for herself and her family. I can testify to the fact that she is not mean, evil, or poor. She is rich with with friends who love and care for her. But, I can also attest to the fact that her son's father is abusive in so many way; I can attest to the run-ins with the police for abuse. Though we love both of them, we helped her to pack and move to Florida. We have provided occasional gifts so that she and her son can enjoy some luxuries, you know the things most Americans call essentials, like clothes, Diet Coke or Chocolate ice cream.

I hate welfare as it is practiced these days. It was supposed to help people get back on their feet after events such as Jenny has gone through. I detest 3rd and 4th generation welfare recipients; well, actually not them, but the government that permits this to occur. But, more than all this, it makes me want to vomit when I read/hear of people so heartless that they can make such clueless statements such as the lady in the checkout line or the Pharisee found in comments such as "LeonMoyer"; Heartless and ignorant of reality of other people's lives and the condition of their soul.

Jenny, our offer still stands for you and your little guy to move back to Illinois and live with us in our finished basement. The economy is only slightly better here than there. But, people coming together is tough times is precisely what Christ taught and what we try to live. We can actually help each other...Come back here!

by: jenfs

02-27-2010 @ 8:32am

Thank you for this blog-post, Jennifer. Thank you for being willing to share your real-life experience. This helps us all to remember that real, live, hard-working people can find themselves in circumstances they'd rather not be in. And compassion goes a lot further than condemnation. Being understanding is more difficult but don't we also want people to be understanding (not condemnatory) of us whenever we find ourselves in difficult circumstances?

We live in a rural, poor part of Missouri where we know many hard-working people who are on food-stamps or the WIC program (similar but geared exclusively towards women and children). My own father was on food stamps for a long while because his mental illness prevented him from working enough to support himself at that time. One thing I have noticed is that it is also this poor, hard-working group of people who do not have any health insurance. The ones we know personally also age a lot faster through hard, manual labor, factory work and lack of proper health care. It is a very sad thing to see in a (Christian) nation as rich as the US.

Jennifer, Are able to afford health insurance or regular health care for you and your son? Or are you one of the 40+million who are uninsured (or under-insured)?

Thank you again for this post. I pray that God will continue to bless and take care of you and your son through this difficult time in your life. Our prayers are with you.

by: liberalinlove

03-04-2010 @ 7:37pm

Hey, I'm sure if you've worked you've paid in for this benefit. And if you are ever planning to work, you will again pay in for this benefit. In some respects your taxes are like an insurance to hedge against times like this.

by: JoelleHart

03-05-2010 @ 3:00am

Christ said, "But whoso shall cause one of these little ones who believe in Me to fall, it were better for him that a millstone were hung about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea." (Matthew 18:6)

And the Bible also says, "Husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies... For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it" (Ephesians 5:28-29)

This man did not love his body; he poisoned it with drugs and alcohol. He was teaching his child to sin by exposing him to alcohol and drugs, abuse and violence.

Jennifer rescued the child from that situation. She nourishes and cherishes that child, and protected him by leaving that man. Her actions showed love and humility.

And even if you want to make the claim that divorce is wrong no matter what... did Jesus say to the woman caught in adultery, "Hey, I'm going to get crucified, so quit whining... a little stoning would do you good."

I am frankly horrified at your hate-filled comment.

Jennifer -- thank you for having the courage and taking the time to share your story.

by: LeonMoyer

03-04-2010 @ 11:14pm

No, we don't pay enough in taxes to cover much withdrawal from the gov't: i.e., after about three years on social security, a person has received about what they paid in to SS during their entire life. No doubt the same applies to food stamps. No one addressed the underlying problem with Jennifer. If she was following the teaching of Jesus, that what God has joined together man shall not put asunder, and that marriage lasts for life, good or bad, then she would be working to save both the marriage as well as her husband's soul, whom she should love forever and work to lead him to live a Christian life. She might not have to live in the same building with him but she should not be running to distant corners of the land to avoid him--even if there is domestic abuse, she can suffer as Jesus suffered, right? Or are women more sacred than God's Son, who had no place to lay his head at night? Yet this woman wants us to pay for her food while she sits in a classroom, ever learning but not reaching the Truth.

by: Patricia

02-28-2010 @ 10:21pm

Yes, it's always so helpful when ignorant people who know nothing of your situation feel called upon to put you down and take you to task in public. Especially since the majority of adults who receive food stamps are WORKING, and the vast majority of PEOPLE receiving food stamps are CHILDREN.

by: liberalinlove

03-05-2010 @ 7:44pm

Okay I accidentally clicked I liked this post. No absolutely and unequivocally, I do not agree with this post. This is exactly why the church lost its voice, and I believe why we had a birth of feminism. Yes there are those who divorce for selfish reasons, but you absolutely cannot believe God sent his son to hang on a cross so that woman could live and suffer silently in abuse.

Even within a marriage, women often have to support themselves, financially, physically, mentally, morally and spiritually. And for those, who in past decades sought help from the church, an answer like yours was all they could expect.

Would God love marriage to work the way it is supposed to? Yes I'm sure of it. Would following God's plan for mankind cure a lot of societies ills. 1000 percent yes. We live in a fallen world bud and until the church steps up and offers real help to people who need it without judgement, we'll have people who need food stamps.

by: bookworm worm

07-20-2011 @ 6:21am

The research highlights the need for people to review their policies. life assurance

by: uberVU - social comments

03-22-2010 @ 10:42pm

Social comments and analytics for this post...

This post was mentioned on Twitter by LaLuna1970: Real Life on Food Stamps - http://blog.sojo.net/2010/02/26/real-life-on-food-stamps/...

by: ingreif

02-26-2010 @ 3:36pm

I know how this feels i was on food staps a while back before the card so it was rather obviouse you were on food stamps. Its good to get the critisism kif you ask me It encourages you to work towards being off of it. Like ben franklin said. It is best to make the poor uncomfortable with being poor, that way they might try to work hard enough to NOT be poor. (not perfect qoute)

by: bookworm worm

07-20-2011 @ 6:21am

The research highlights the need for people to review their policies. life assurance

by: Elizabeth Palmberg

02-26-2010 @ 4:41pm

Jennifer, thanks for sharing your story! I'm glad you are taking the hard steps that are needed to raise your son in a safe and healthy environment.

by: histrogeek

02-26-2010 @ 5:42pm

Three points in rebuttal.
First being poor is not, in itself, a moral issue; therefore, making sure people work hard to stop being poor isn't an issue. If the issue is making sure people are productive, then positive incentives are far better than some seemingly uncharitable scold crabbing out about where her tax dollars are spent.
Second isn't the point of our economy that it provides incentives for people to be productive? Making more money, and all the good things that follow from that, ought to be more than enough to encourage people to stopping being poor. And I have yet to meet a single person who preferred being grindingly poor to working for money. And I've taught in very poor urban schools.
Third and lastly, Jennifer is clearly not looking to stay poor, but is doing everything to get out of poverty. Problem is, it takes time but her need is immediate. So what business is it of someone in the checkout line to tell her, or anyone else, how to live their life especially when they have no idea how or why she is in this position?

As a brief aside, when I smoked, nothing was more likely to get me to light up than self-appointed public health expert telling me it was bad for me except maybe passive aggressive coughing (not genuine coughs which are easy to distinguish from the former). Similarly when my annoying hippie aunt scolds me when I drink a Coke, it angers me more than anything else. Certainly doesn't convince me to change my ways.

by: squeaky

02-26-2010 @ 6:35pm

Good points--thanks.

And, um...sorry about the passive aggressive coughing. That, uh. That was me. Actually, more often I'll just hold my breath walking by the smokers outside the building. Most don't realize I do it...

by: pilgrimboy

02-26-2010 @ 6:36pm

Thanks for sharing that Jennifer. And I am sorry for the way some people treat you. May God bless you and your son.

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by: ingreif

02-26-2010 @ 3:36pm

I know how this feels i was on food staps a while back before the card so it was rather obviouse you were on food stamps. Its good to get the critisism kif you ask me It encourages you to work towards being off of it. Like ben franklin said. It is best to make the poor uncomfortable with being poor, that way they might try to work hard enough to NOT be poor. (not perfect qoute)

by: ingreif

02-26-2010 @ 3:36pm

I know how this feels i was on food staps a while back before the card so it was rather obviouse you were on food stamps. Its good to get the critisism kif you ask me It encourages you to work towards being off of it. Like ben franklin said. It is best to make the poor uncomfortable with being poor, that way they might try to work hard enough to NOT be poor. (not perfect qoute)

by: Elizabeth Palmberg

02-26-2010 @ 4:41pm

Jennifer, thanks for sharing your story! I'm glad you are taking the hard steps that are needed to raise your son in a safe and healthy environment.

by: Elizabeth Palmberg

02-26-2010 @ 4:41pm

Jennifer, thanks for sharing your story! I'm glad you are taking the hard steps that are needed to raise your son in a safe and healthy environment.

by: histrogeek

02-26-2010 @ 5:42pm

Three points in rebuttal.
First being poor is not, in itself, a moral issue; therefore, making sure people work hard to stop being poor isn't an issue. If the issue is making sure people are productive, then positive incentives are far better than some seemingly uncharitable scold crabbing out about where her tax dollars are spent.
Second isn't the point of our economy that it provides incentives for people to be productive? Making more money, and all the good things that follow from that, ought to be more than enough to encourage people to stopping being poor. And I have yet to meet a single person who preferred being grindingly poor to working for money. And I've taught in very poor urban schools.
Third and lastly, Jennifer is clearly not looking to stay poor, but is doing everything to get out of poverty. Problem is, it takes time but her need is immediate. So what business is it of someone in the checkout line to tell her, or anyone else, how to live their life especially when they have no idea how or why she is in this position?

As a brief aside, when I smoked, nothing was more likely to get me to light up than self-appointed public health expert telling me it was bad for me except maybe passive aggressive coughing (not genuine coughs which are easy to distinguish from the former). Similarly when my annoying hippie aunt scolds me when I drink a Coke, it angers me more than anything else. Certainly doesn't convince me to change my ways.

by: histrogeek

02-26-2010 @ 5:42pm

Three points in rebuttal.
First being poor is not, in itself, a moral issue; therefore, making sure people work hard to stop being poor isn't an issue. If the issue is making sure people are productive, then positive incentives are far better than some seemingly uncharitable scold crabbing out about where her tax dollars are spent.
Second isn't the point of our economy that it provides incentives for people to be productive? Making more money, and all the good things that follow from that, ought to be more than enough to encourage people to stopping being poor. And I have yet to meet a single person who preferred being grindingly poor to working for money. And I've taught in very poor urban schools.
Third and lastly, Jennifer is clearly not looking to stay poor, but is doing everything to get out of poverty. Problem is, it takes time but her need is immediate. So what business is it of someone in the checkout line to tell her, or anyone else, how to live their life especially when they have no idea how or why she is in this position?

As a brief aside, when I smoked, nothing was more likely to get me to light up than self-appointed public health expert telling me it was bad for me except maybe passive aggressive coughing (not genuine coughs which are easy to distinguish from the former). Similarly when my annoying hippie aunt scolds me when I drink a Coke, it angers me more than anything else. Certainly doesn't convince me to change my ways.

by: squeaky

02-26-2010 @ 6:35pm

Good points--thanks.

And, um...sorry about the passive aggressive coughing. That, uh. That was me. Actually, more often I'll just hold my breath walking by the smokers outside the building. Most don't realize I do it...

by: squeaky

02-26-2010 @ 6:35pm

Good points--thanks.

And, um...sorry about the passive aggressive coughing. That, uh. That was me. Actually, more often I'll just hold my breath walking by the smokers outside the building. Most don't realize I do it...

by: pilgrimboy

02-26-2010 @ 6:36pm

Thanks for sharing that Jennifer. And I am sorry for the way some people treat you. May God bless you and your son.

by: pilgrimboy

02-26-2010 @ 6:36pm

Thanks for sharing that Jennifer. And I am sorry for the way some people treat you. May God bless you and your son.

by: Ngchen

02-26-2010 @ 6:54pm

Where are the child-support payments that are owed?

And yes, it definitely is tough to live off of food stamps. Hopefully things will become better is a few years.

by: Ngchen

02-26-2010 @ 6:54pm

Where are the child-support payments that are owed?

And yes, it definitely is tough to live off of food stamps. Hopefully things will become better is a few years.

by: KathyG

02-26-2010 @ 7:11pm

Jennifer this was a good blog post. I have been on food stamps for years now and I have recieved a few of those looks like you have. When I first applied for food stamps was when they still looked like money, sort of, and were more noticeable. At the time my brother worked at a local chain grocery store and he told me not to use them to buy expensive stuff like steak as he saw people who used them buy expensive stuff like steak and I told him I wouldn't. He eventually got used to me using food stamps especially after my son was born. Unfortunately this attitude has carried on for decades and it's sad that in this day and age some people still frown on people who are poor and only trying to feed their family or families. As one person stated above no body really chooses to be poor, the poor are there because of circumstances that they really can't control.

by: KathyG

02-26-2010 @ 7:11pm

Jennifer this was a good blog post. I have been on food stamps for years now and I have recieved a few of those looks like you have. When I first applied for food stamps was when they still looked like money, sort of, and were more noticeable. At the time my brother worked at a local chain grocery store and he told me not to use them to buy expensive stuff like steak as he saw people who used them buy expensive stuff like steak and I told him I wouldn't. He eventually got used to me using food stamps especially after my son was born. Unfortunately this attitude has carried on for decades and it's sad that in this day and age some people still frown on people who are poor and only trying to feed their family or families. As one person stated above no body really chooses to be poor, the poor are there because of circumstances that they really can't control.

by: ingreif

02-26-2010 @ 10:30pm

well your right in ways. I am not its bad to be on food stamps. but to many abuse it. and to be reminded that others are paying this isnt bad in of its self. people can be rude i am sure. I hated being on it for that reason at times. But the shame did help me work harder to get off it. Its the whole part of making it TO comfortable to STAY o it thats the problem. they have no insentive to work when they can get along with it. I no a lot of people who wont get off it becasue they have to struggle a bit before there work pays off with a better situation. I think most people on food stamps are nbot like this person or you or me. thats the problem. In am for one considered POOR by our governments standard. actuall real close to below poverty. BUT i am not on food stamps. I admit I am under medicaid becasue I have 5 kids but that is it. and If I ever have the chance to get off it I will guickly becasue its not all that good. And I think its a waste of money for the government. Its important to make sure the incentives to be productive do not in themselves make one lazy or to just get by becasue to many are happy with that.

by: ingreif

02-26-2010 @ 10:30pm

well your right in ways. I am not its bad to be on food stamps. but to many abuse it. and to be reminded that others are paying this isnt bad in of its self. people can be rude i am sure. I hated being on it for that reason at times. But the shame did help me work harder to get off it. Its the whole part of making it TO comfortable to STAY o it thats the problem. they have no insentive to work when they can get along with it. I no a lot of people who wont get off it becasue they have to struggle a bit before there work pays off with a better situation. I think most people on food stamps are nbot like this person or you or me. thats the problem. In am for one considered POOR by our governments standard. actuall real close to below poverty. BUT i am not on food stamps. I admit I am under medicaid becasue I have 5 kids but that is it. and If I ever have the chance to get off it I will guickly becasue its not all that good. And I think its a waste of money for the government. Its important to make sure the incentives to be productive do not in themselves make one lazy or to just get by becasue to many are happy with that.

by: jenfs

02-27-2010 @ 8:32am

Thank you for this blog-post, Jennifer. Thank you for being willing to share your real-life experience. This helps us all to remember that real, live, hard-working people can find themselves in circumstances they'd rather not be in. And compassion goes a lot further than condemnation. Being understanding is more difficult but don't we also want people to be understanding (not condemnatory) of us whenever we find ourselves in difficult circumstances?

We live in a rural, poor part of Missouri where we know many hard-working people who are on food-stamps or the WIC program (similar but geared exclusively towards women and children). My own father was on food stamps for a long while because his mental illness prevented him from working enough to support himself at that time. One thing I have noticed is that it is also this poor, hard-working group of people who do not have any health insurance. The ones we know personally also age a lot faster through hard, manual labor, factory work and lack of proper health care. It is a very sad thing to see in a (Christian) nation as rich as the US.

Jennifer, Are able to afford health insurance or regular health care for you and your son? Or are you one of the 40+million who are uninsured (or under-insured)?

Thank you again for this post. I pray that God will continue to bless and take care of you and your son through this difficult time in your life. Our prayers are with you.

by: jenfs

02-27-2010 @ 8:32am

Thank you for this blog-post, Jennifer. Thank you for being willing to share your real-life experience. This helps us all to remember that real, live, hard-working people can find themselves in circumstances they'd rather not be in. And compassion goes a lot further than condemnation. Being understanding is more difficult but don't we also want people to be understanding (not condemnatory) of us whenever we find ourselves in difficult circumstances?

We live in a rural, poor part of Missouri where we know many hard-working people who are on food-stamps or the WIC program (similar but geared exclusively towards women and children). My own father was on food stamps for a long while because his mental illness prevented him from working enough to support himself at that time. One thing I have noticed is that it is also this poor, hard-working group of people who do not have any health insurance. The ones we know personally also age a lot faster through hard, manual labor, factory work and lack of proper health care. It is a very sad thing to see in a (Christian) nation as rich as the US.

Jennifer, Are able to afford health insurance or regular health care for you and your son? Or are you one of the 40+million who are uninsured (or under-insured)?

Thank you again for this post. I pray that God will continue to bless and take care of you and your son through this difficult time in your life. Our prayers are with you.

by: Patricia

02-28-2010 @ 10:21pm

Yes, it's always so helpful when ignorant people who know nothing of your situation feel called upon to put you down and take you to task in public. Especially since the majority of adults who receive food stamps are WORKING, and the vast majority of PEOPLE receiving food stamps are CHILDREN.

by: Patricia

02-28-2010 @ 10:21pm

Yes, it's always so helpful when ignorant people who know nothing of your situation feel called upon to put you down and take you to task in public. Especially since the majority of adults who receive food stamps are WORKING, and the vast majority of PEOPLE receiving food stamps are CHILDREN.

by: liberalinlove

03-04-2010 @ 7:37pm

Hey, I'm sure if you've worked you've paid in for this benefit. And if you are ever planning to work, you will again pay in for this benefit. In some respects your taxes are like an insurance to hedge against times like this.

by: liberalinlove

03-04-2010 @ 7:37pm

Hey, I'm sure if you've worked you've paid in for this benefit. And if you are ever planning to work, you will again pay in for this benefit. In some respects your taxes are like an insurance to hedge against times like this.

by: LeonMoyer

03-04-2010 @ 11:14pm

No, we don't pay enough in taxes to cover much withdrawal from the gov't: i.e., after about three years on social security, a person has received about what they paid in to SS during their entire life. No doubt the same applies to food stamps. No one addressed the underlying problem with Jennifer. If she was following the teaching of Jesus, that what God has joined together man shall not put asunder, and that marriage lasts for life, good or bad, then she would be working to save both the marriage as well as her husband's soul, whom she should love forever and work to lead him to live a Christian life. She might not have to live in the same building with him but she should not be running to distant corners of the land to avoid him--even if there is domestic abuse, she can suffer as Jesus suffered, right? Or are women more sacred than God's Son, who had no place to lay his head at night? Yet this woman wants us to pay for her food while she sits in a classroom, ever learning but not reaching the Truth.

by: LeonMoyer

03-04-2010 @ 11:14pm

No, we don't pay enough in taxes to cover much withdrawal from the gov't: i.e., after about three years on social security, a person has received about what they paid in to SS during their entire life. No doubt the same applies to food stamps. No one addressed the underlying problem with Jennifer. If she was following the teaching of Jesus, that what God has joined together man shall not put asunder, and that marriage lasts for life, good or bad, then she would be working to save both the marriage as well as her husband's soul, whom she should love forever and work to lead him to live a Christian life. She might not have to live in the same building with him but she should not be running to distant corners of the land to avoid him--even if there is domestic abuse, she can suffer as Jesus suffered, right? Or are women more sacred than God's Son, who had no place to lay his head at night? Yet this woman wants us to pay for her food while she sits in a classroom, ever learning but not reaching the Truth.

by: merbert

03-05-2010 @ 1:46am

If she had to leave the state to get out of a domestic abuse situation, then it most likely was very serious. You don't know what the father did to her or what happened to her. Saving the marriage is all fine and good until her son's father kills her and her son is left with no mother. He chose drugs and alcohol over the marriage and the word of Christ, and the only things she had control over were her life and the life of her son. Too many people take marriage too lightly and divorce for frivolous and selfish reasons, but I have a hard time thinking that people should stay in such a situation if it becomes dangerous and the safety of children is at stake.

Thank you Jennifer for sharing your story. I know enough people on food stamps already. There are not enough decent jobs out there to house, clothe, and feed a family anymore, it seems.

by: merbert

03-05-2010 @ 1:46am

If she had to leave the state to get out of a domestic abuse situation, then it most likely was very serious. You don't know what the father did to her or what happened to her. Saving the marriage is all fine and good until her son's father kills her and her son is left with no mother. He chose drugs and alcohol over the marriage and the word of Christ, and the only things she had control over were her life and the life of her son. Too many people take marriage too lightly and divorce for frivolous and selfish reasons, but I have a hard time thinking that people should stay in such a situation if it becomes dangerous and the safety of children is at stake.

Thank you Jennifer for sharing your story. I know enough people on food stamps already. There are not enough decent jobs out there to house, clothe, and feed a family anymore, it seems.

by: JoelleHart

03-05-2010 @ 3:00am

Christ said, "But whoso shall cause one of these little ones who believe in Me to fall, it were better for him that a millstone were hung about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea." (Matthew 18:6)

And the Bible also says, "Husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies... For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it" (Ephesians 5:28-29)

This man did not love his body; he poisoned it with drugs and alcohol. He was teaching his child to sin by exposing him to alcohol and drugs, abuse and violence.

Jennifer rescued the child from that situation. She nourishes and cherishes that child, and protected him by leaving that man. Her actions showed love and humility.

And even if you want to make the claim that divorce is wrong no matter what... did Jesus say to the woman caught in adultery, "Hey, I'm going to get crucified, so quit whining... a little stoning would do you good."

I am frankly horrified at your hate-filled comment.

Jennifer -- thank you for having the courage and taking the time to share your story.

by: JoelleHart

03-05-2010 @ 3:00am

Christ said, "But whoso shall cause one of these little ones who believe in Me to fall, it were better for him that a millstone were hung about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea." (Matthew 18:6)

And the Bible also says, "Husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies... For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it" (Ephesians 5:28-29)

This man did not love his body; he poisoned it with drugs and alcohol. He was teaching his child to sin by exposing him to alcohol and drugs, abuse and violence.

Jennifer rescued the child from that situation. She nourishes and cherishes that child, and protected him by leaving that man. Her actions showed love and humility.

And even if you want to make the claim that divorce is wrong no matter what... did Jesus say to the woman caught in adultery, "Hey, I'm going to get crucified, so quit whining... a little stoning would do you good."

I am frankly horrified at your hate-filled comment.

Jennifer -- thank you for having the courage and taking the time to share your story.

by: liberalinlove

03-05-2010 @ 7:44pm

Okay I accidentally clicked I liked this post. No absolutely and unequivocally, I do not agree with this post. This is exactly why the church lost its voice, and I believe why we had a birth of feminism. Yes there are those who divorce for selfish reasons, but you absolutely cannot believe God sent his son to hang on a cross so that woman could live and suffer silently in abuse.

Even within a marriage, women often have to support themselves, financially, physically, mentally, morally and spiritually. And for those, who in past decades sought help from the church, an answer like yours was all they could expect.

Would God love marriage to work the way it is supposed to? Yes I'm sure of it. Would following God's plan for mankind cure a lot of societies ills. 1000 percent yes. We live in a fallen world bud and until the church steps up and offers real help to people who need it without judgement, we'll have people who need food stamps.

by: liberalinlove

03-05-2010 @ 7:44pm

Okay I accidentally clicked I liked this post. No absolutely and unequivocally, I do not agree with this post. This is exactly why the church lost its voice, and I believe why we had a birth of feminism. Yes there are those who divorce for selfish reasons, but you absolutely cannot believe God sent his son to hang on a cross so that woman could live and suffer silently in abuse.

Even within a marriage, women often have to support themselves, financially, physically, mentally, morally and spiritually. And for those, who in past decades sought help from the church, an answer like yours was all they could expect.

Would God love marriage to work the way it is supposed to? Yes I'm sure of it. Would following God's plan for mankind cure a lot of societies ills. 1000 percent yes. We live in a fallen world bud and until the church steps up and offers real help to people who need it without judgement, we'll have people who need food stamps.

by: MrDandTT

03-07-2010 @ 2:11pm

Jenny is among my most favorite people! Her son was a total delight to love and care for while Jenny worked to provide for herself and her family. I can testify to the fact that she is not mean, evil, or poor. She is rich with with friends who love and care for her. But, I can also attest to the fact that her son's father is abusive in so many way; I can attest to the run-ins with the police for abuse. Though we love both of them, we helped her to pack and move to Florida. We have provided occasional gifts so that she and her son can enjoy some luxuries, you know the things most Americans call essentials, like clothes, Diet Coke or Chocolate ice cream.

I hate welfare as it is practiced these days. It was supposed to help people get back on their feet after events such as Jenny has gone through. I detest 3rd and 4th generation welfare recipients; well, actually not them, but the government that permits this to occur. But, more than all this, it makes me want to vomit when I read/hear of people so heartless that they can make such clueless statements such as the lady in the checkout line or the Pharisee found in comments such as "LeonMoyer"; Heartless and ignorant of reality of other people's lives and the condition of their soul.

Jenny, our offer still stands for you and your little guy to move back to Illinois and live with us in our finished basement. The economy is only slightly better here than there. But, people coming together is tough times is precisely what Christ taught and what we try to live. We can actually help each other...Come back here!

by: MrDandTT

03-07-2010 @ 2:11pm

Jenny is among my most favorite people! Her son was a total delight to love and care for while Jenny worked to provide for herself and her family. I can testify to the fact that she is not mean, evil, or poor. She is rich with with friends who love and care for her. But, I can also attest to the fact that her son's father is abusive in so many way; I can attest to the run-ins with the police for abuse. Though we love both of them, we helped her to pack and move to Florida. We have provided occasional gifts so that she and her son can enjoy some luxuries, you know the things most Americans call essentials, like clothes, Diet Coke or Chocolate ice cream.

I hate welfare as it is practiced these days. It was supposed to help people get back on their feet after events such as Jenny has gone through. I detest 3rd and 4th generation welfare recipients; well, actually not them, but the government that permits this to occur. But, more than all this, it makes me want to vomit when I read/hear of people so heartless that they can make such clueless statements such as the lady in the checkout line or the Pharisee found in comments such as "LeonMoyer"; Heartless and ignorant of reality of other people's lives and the condition of their soul.

Jenny, our offer still stands for you and your little guy to move back to Illinois and live with us in our finished basement. The economy is only slightly better here than there. But, people coming together is tough times is precisely what Christ taught and what we try to live. We can actually help each other...Come back here!

by: MrDandTT

03-07-2010 @ 4:11pm

Jenny is among my most favorite people! Her son was a total delight to love and care for while Jenny worked to provide for herself and her family. I can testify to the fact that she is not mean, evil, or poor. She is rich with with friends who love and care for her. But, I can also attest to the fact that her son's father is abusive in so many way; I can attest to the run-ins with the police for abuse. Though we love both of them, we helped her to pack and move to Florida. We have provided occasional gifts so that she and her son can enjoy some luxuries, you know the things most Americans call essentials, like clothes, Diet Coke or Chocolate ice cream.

I hate welfare as it is practiced these days. It was supposed to help people get back on their feet after events such as Jenny has gone through. I detest 3rd and 4th generation welfare recipients; well, actually not them, but the government that permits this to occur. But, more than all this, it makes me want to vomit when I read/hear of people so heartless that they can make such clueless statements such as the lady in the checkout line or the Pharisee found in comments such as "LeonMoyer"; Heartless and ignorant of reality of other people's lives and the condition of their soul.

Jenny, our offer still stands for you and your little guy to move back to Illinois and live with us in our finished basement. The economy is only slightly better here than there. But, people coming together is tough times is precisely what Christ taught and what we try to live. We can actually help each other...Come back here!

by: MrDandTT

03-07-2010 @ 4:11pm

Jenny is among my most favorite people! Her son was a total delight to love and care for while Jenny worked to provide for herself and her family. I can testify to the fact that she is not mean, evil, or poor. She is rich with with friends who love and care for her. But, I can also attest to the fact that her son's father is abusive in so many way; I can attest to the run-ins with the police for abuse. Though we love both of them, we helped her to pack and move to Florida. We have provided occasional gifts so that she and her son can enjoy some luxuries, you know the things most Americans call essentials, like clothes, Diet Coke or Chocolate ice cream.

I hate welfare as it is practiced these days. It was supposed to help people get back on their feet after events such as Jenny has gone through. I detest 3rd and 4th generation welfare recipients; well, actually not them, but the government that permits this to occur. But, more than all this, it makes me want to vomit when I read/hear of people so heartless that they can make such clueless statements such as the lady in the checkout line or the Pharisee found in comments such as "LeonMoyer"; Heartless and ignorant of reality of other people's lives and the condition of their soul.

Jenny, our offer still stands for you and your little guy to move back to Illinois and live with us in our finished basement. The economy is only slightly better here than there. But, people coming together is tough times is precisely what Christ taught and what we try to live. We can actually help each other...Come back here!

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03-22-2010 @ 10:42pm

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This post was mentioned on Twitter by LaLuna1970: Real Life on Food Stamps - http://blog.sojo.net/2010/02/26/real-life-on-food-stamps/...

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06-14-2011 @ 5:50pm

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